A couple of months ago we wrote about how sex and boring should never be used in the same sentence. While some would agree that sex is never boring, it may sometimes feel like a ho-hum event or “task” to check off the list. Due to this, we thought this would a good time to introduce “The Fun Theory” into your bedroom activities. Here is a clip that inspired this post (well, kinda)
A small simple change got 66% more people taking the stairs. They were different. Unique. Fun.
Within the marriage relationship, we’re of the opinion that there is great freedom in sexual intimacy between husband and wife. This freedom gives us opportunities to be different, unique…and fun. While the idea of “fun” may make some feel uncomfortable, we’re not talking about kinky or crude practices. Just simple advice about how to laugh, have fun and enjoy your spouse. After all, their body is yours, and yours is theirs. You enjoy your time together at the movies, or over dinner…so why not take practical steps to make sex more fun for you and your spouse?
Here are a few suggestions to include more fun in the bedroom.
1. Get your flirt on. Flirting is great for your marriage.
Think about it: when you dated you flirted with your to-be spouse on a near daily basis. Each of you put a tremendous amount of time and energy in dating, flirting, and winning over your future mate. Some of that continues the first few months, or even years of marriage. But then the thoughts come, “Why put energy into winning them over? Why not just jump in the sheets?” Well, jumping in the sheets will come, but you have to constantly be battling for your spouse. Our culture, for lack of better words, is flirting with him/her in a variety of ways. Music, Television, Movies, and perhaps even pornography. Culture is constantly looking for your time and your dollar. Your spouse, on the other hand, only craves you…and only really wants to be won over by you.
When is the last time you looked at your spouse and raised an eyebrow? Or snuck up behind her and whisper something in her ear? Or lifted up your shirt when nobody else was looking to show off your breasts? How much time to you put into flirting with the one you’re going to spend the rest of your life with? If you’re not yet experiencing freedom behind closed doors, one step to take is to actively flirt with your spouse. Do it often. Do it daily.
2. Try a new position.
It’s true that different positions are sometimes more fun than functional (if you catch our drift). But trying a new position can still be quite exciting and educational. Our bodies are made to connect and you may discover that connection can happen in sexual positions you didn’t think your bodies could twist and turn into. If you’re not sure where/how to discover new positions, then try playing a fun game of Twister…naked. Or if you have a smart phone, there are some apps that give suggestions for positions that are clean sketches and directions for how to get into the position. No real images. No temptation to lust over someone other than your spouse.
When trying a new position, it’s important to remember that orgasm may not happen for either or you. But you’ll often get a view of your spouse that isn’t typical. Throw some candles in the room and you’ll even see their shadow flicker on the bedroom wall. That shadow is merely a reflection of the beautiful time you and your spouse are having with one another. Who knows, trying out a new position just may get those shadows to dance 66% longer than they normally would.
3. Pick a new place to have sex.
J over at Hot, Holy Humorous had a series recently about different places to have sex. With lots of humor and some practical advice about the subject, we recommend you check out what she has to say. If your brave, let us know in the comments what you look forward to trying out. As for us, we’ll just use those ideas as a way to flirt with one another in future conversations.
4. Come up with a code word for sex and use it in random conversations throughout the day.
There is something so fun about having a secret language that only you and your spouse know. Sometimes it’s a secret word. Sometimes it’s a secret sound. Maybe you’ll text the secret phrase to him while he’s at work. Maybe he’ll write it on the bathroom mirror with a wipe-off marker. Whatever it is, it’s something that only you and your spouse know about, and it’s something gets you both excited for what’s coming later on that evening.
5. Have sex more often.
It sounds simple, but the more often you have sex, the better sex you’ll continue to have. We’ve read some articles stating that the average sexual experience (from time of entry) is anywhere from 8-13 minutes. With this being an average, it means that for some couples it’s much longer than this time frame, and for others, it’s much shorter. This isn’t speaking poorly of him in any way, but maybe she gets him all rowed up and he just isn’t able to last more than a few minutes. The solution: have sex more often. The more often you both have sex, the more sexual stamina you’ll build up. The more stamina you have, the longer you have sex. The longer you have sex, the more positions you can try. The more positions you try, the more fun you have in the bedroom. The more fun you have in the bedroom, the more you flirt with one another. The more you flirt with another another, the more often you want to have sex. We understand this is basic circular reasoning, but it’s circular reasoning at it’s finest…and it’s worth it. So, don’t just have sex. Enjoy sex more often. Make it fun. You’re spouse will thank you, and you’ll thank yourself as well.
How do you keep things fresh and fun in your marriage? Your sex life? Are you willing to join The Fun Theory: Bedroom Edition?