Delivery Matters:

You’ve been there before.  You want to tell your spouse something you’re pretty sure they don’t want to hear.  Maybe you even NEED to tell them.  It could be anything.  An annoying Angry couplehabit.  A parental concern.  Some other concern for his or her well being.  But you’re pretty sure they’re not going to receive this information well.  What do you do?

Sadly, a number of people will choose the silent treatment.  They won’t bring it up.  “I don’t want to emotionally wound my husband, so I just won’t tell him.”  Or, “I don’t want my wife to think she’s a bad parent.”  So instead of figuring out how to communicate some hard truth, you choose to not communicate at all.

Another option is the deadly treatment.  “I don’t care how well they receive it, it’s the truth so I’m just going to say it!”  This type of action, too, can have detrimental effects on the marriage.  It shows that you’re more interested in what is ‘true’ than your spouse.  So again…what do you do?

You remember that delivery matters.  You remember that while what you have to say is extremely important, how you say it is even more so.  You remember that your goal is to help your spouse with a difficulty that has surfaced, not hurt them.  You remember that your desire is help them become a more Godly individual.  You remember that in most situations it is better to be slow to speak and quick to listen.  You remember that words matter.

The next time you need to bring something to the surface…something that may cause long-term pain and anxiety if it’s not dealt with and dealt with quick.  The next time you have a concern, or a suggestion, or a fear, or a…whatever…and you don’t think it’s going to go over very well.  Remember to share it in such a way that will be received as well as possible by them.  Remember that delivery matters.

Linking with: To Love Honor and Vacuum, Messy Marriage

5 thoughts on “Delivery Matters:

  1. This is good stuff! Although sometimes it just won’t be received well – especially if you are trying to say the same thing you’ve already said, but in a different way at a different time (guilty).

    I’m a foodie and I drew a parallel on the word ‘delivery.’ My husband says I’ve got a gift when it comes to plating food – that I can take the most boring (cheap) meal and make it look scrumptious! And he’s quick to add, “But it doesn’t matter how many times (and in fancy ways) you put brussel sprouts on my plate – they will always taste the same to me … yuck, and I will never eat them.”

    Lots of times thinking I NEEDED to tell him something was really just a matter of me re-telling b/c he hadn’t changed since the last time. So much for me to learn … so little time!! 🙂

  2. I couldn’t agree more, my friends! I’ve seen this demonstrated in all the various forms that you mentioned and it wasn’t pretty! But when my husband and I focus on the delivery and honor each other as much as we value our “truth,” we are able to hear and grow. Great words and so glad you shared them over at Wedded Wed! Keep ’em coming!

  3. You’re so right! My hubby is perhaps a bit more sensitive than most, and so I need to be extra careful, especially in dealing with deep or intimate subjects. Delivery makes all the difference in the world!

    It’s also important (to me) to have correct timing! I know when my hubby is swamped with decisions that needs made (and why do they all seem to need to be made NOW?!?!?) that it’s NOT a good time to bring up an important subject.

    Thanks so much for the excellent post!

  4. Pingback: The Shine Award: Encouraging others who inspire you | Giving Up Sugar

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