Sex is about connection. It’s about fun and games. It’s meant to bring a married couple together to share in something that is exclusive. An exclusive moment of knowing and being known at the deepest level. This is what sex is all about. However, knowing all these incredible reasons doesn’t seem to eliminate how challenging it can be to make sex a priority. See if you can relate to any of these common reasons people choose not to have sex.
- too tired
- too busy
- no energy
- too much work to do
- don’t feel sexy
- relational conflict (with spouse or others)
- lack of connection/conversation throughout the day
- it doesn’t feel good
- our relationship needs help!
- demands of the day (work, kids, family, house, bills etc) are overwhelming
A long list that probably doesn’t include half the reasons and excuses that shove sex to the bottom of the “to do” list. We are unable to address all of those issues in one post but today we are going to share 4 ways to feel connected to your spouse throughout the day. Trying these ‘touch-points of connection’ may just revive your desire to connect physically and intimately.
1. Begin your day with a smile, a kiss and a kind word. It seems simple, maybe too simple, but what have you got to lose? Starting the day with affection and touch can be a good way to boost the intimacy in your relationship. A kiss, kind word and tender moment at the beginning of the day can help set the tone for the rest of the day. Your marriage is supposed to be set apart from the rest of your relationships, so do something that truly sets it apart. If your spouse is used to a rushed and hectic morning encounter, determine what changes you need to make in order to give your spouse your best.
2. Communicate with your spouse throughout the day. There are a number of ways that you can let your spouse know that you are thinking about them throughout the day. It could be a simple lunchbox note or handwritten note in their car. Maybe an email or text during the day. And though our tech savvy culture may snicker at the archaic devise called a phone, it just might be the point of connection your marriage needs. Take into consideration what communication works best for you and your spouse then follow through and begin regularly communicating. (check out these 5 text your should send your spouse from Messy Marriage)
3. Think about your spouse throughout the day. While it is wonderful to actually communicate with your spouse, thinking about them is also very beneficial. Set up reminders (or what we call “triggers”) throughout your day that entice you to remember your spouse. Simple and mundane tasks take on new meaning if you are purposefully turning your mind and heart towards your spouse. Don’t underestimate the importance of mentally and emotionally connecting to your spouse throughout the day.
4. Pray for your spouse. There is an incredibly powerful connection that is possible when we pray for our spouse. Whether we are praying about specific concerns our spouse has shared with us or praying for more general well being, God can change the course of our marriage when we are willing to bring our prayers to Him. There are many great resources available to help you learn to pray for your spouse and we would encourage you to use them. Consistency however is the key. Consistently pray for all different aspect of your marriage and watch God work.
“This post doesn’t have anything to do with sex” you may be saying right now. That may appear true as we didn’t address many of the excuses in our list. It’s our belief though, that these ‘touch-points of connection’ can help revive your marriage. A great sex life comes from the overflow of a strong marriage. So if you want a great sex life begin by working on having a stronger marriage.
Join the conversation:
How have you found that connectivity during the day helps you desire connectivity in the bedroom?