The Marriage Road: Keeping Your Eye on the Road

roadRoad trips.  Everybody loves a good road trip now and then, right?  One of the longest road trips I’ve had the privilege of taking was about 14 hours.  I’ve had many clock in around 12 hours as well.  You know what I love about road trips?  I love…

  • Music and podcasts
  • Conversations with friends and family
  • Odd snacks and hole-in-the-wall restaurants in the middle of nowhere

And last but not least…scenery.  I get so used to looking at my hometown and home state that I really appreciate opportunities to see what else is out there.

I believe that marriage is a lot like a road trip.  There are twists and turns, mountains and valleys, but as long as both spouse’s keep their eye on the road, they’re ready for whatever it is that comes their way.  It’s the “scenery” that causes problems.  Sometimes one spouse (or both) will look away from the road.  Other things in life become more important…even if only for a few seconds.  Things like:

  • children
  • career
  • shopping
  • sports
  • extra curricular activities
  • games
  • Pinterest
  • …..the list goes on

Surely, peering out the window every once in a while just to get a view won’t disrupt the marriage road, right?  But just like that, everything changes.  Neither spouse saw the upcoming turn.  Neither spouse saw their marriage fuel tank was low.  Neither spouse saw they were putting the children ahead of one another.  In an instant, they’re off the marriage highway and are on a semi-beaten path.  Some marriages forge ahead but by doing so only dig themselves deeper into the mess they’ve created.  Others divorce, or separate.  And then there are those who realize they took a wrong turn, and they begin to backtrack to see exactly what got them into this situation to begin with.

Below are some questions to help you gauge where you’re at on your marriage road, and whether or not you need to backtrack in order to get back on the highway.

  1. Do you see any upcoming turns, hills or valleys?
  2. Do you feel like your spouse is driving on one road, and you another?
  3. Do you know where you want your marriage to be in one month?  One year?  Five years?
  4. Do you know what steps you’re going to take to get there?
  5. Do you know whether or not your spouse’s marriage tank is full?
  6. Are you yourself peering out the window and paying more attention to your job, your children or something else other than your marriage?
  7. Are you willing to ask others for help if you discover you’ve taken a wrong turn?
  8. Are you willing — *really* willing – to keep your eyes on the marriage road and only the marriage road?

The point of this post isn’t to provide any kind of guilt.  It’s simply a gut-check to ensure you’re keeping your marriage as a top priority.  If you’re not, figure out where you’re currently putting your priorities, and then begin taking steps to ensure you keep your marriage first.

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