Reading about the subject of sex causes some readers such excitement that they can’t turn the pages fast enough. But others find the subject a bit taboo, or too private to be discussed openly, even within their own marriage. These two differing personalities often arise between a husband and wife. One spouse feels more adventurous than the other and the disagreement leads to more frustration or confusion than it leads to a deeper level of intimacy. While these thoughts of frustration or confusion can cause strife in a marriage, we always recommend talking things through. This means the more adventurous spouse and the non-adventurous need to work together to find some kind of compromise. One compromise that is often acceptable to both: trying new sexual positions together.
To those who are adventurous, new sexual positions can add a great deal of excitement to your love life, as you’ll be twisting and turning and seeing parts of your spouse you may not always see during love-making. And those who aren’t as adventurous often discover that new positions create a deeper level of intimacy. Unconvinced? Well, here are a few ways positions can help provide a deeper level of intimacy.
1. Not every position will “ring your bell”. That friends, is a good thing because sex isn’t all about you. Sex is about giving AND receiving. When you default to only the few positions you like or that easily bring you to climax you are focusing only on the receiving not the giving aspect of sex. Selfishness in bed is harmful to your marriage. Discovering and learning new ways to please your spouse makes you a selfless lover rather than a selfish lover.
2. Different positions require you to be vulnerable. Believe us when we say that there are certain views and positions that your spouse will find incredibly sexy and desirable. By opening yourself to these you are in essence telling them “I want you to know me in the deepest way.” By being willing to try something different you show that you value the sacredness of the marital relationship. You show that you are willing to open yourself completely to your spouse. **** As a side note: We want to make it clear that vulnerability is not something that can be forced nor does vulnerability include forms of physical pain. All things must be done in love. More on this next week. ****
3. Different positions require you spend more time together. Most marriages are starving for time together in intimate settings and by trying new positions you will be racking up some time together. Between discussing what you might like to try, how to actually do it and then moving onto something different you have increased your time together.
4. Different positions allow room for different delights. Monogamy is not monotony but trying out different positions exponentially increases the likelihood that this is true in your marriage.
5. Different positions often provide lighthearted entertainment and a laugh. Seriously, how could we not mention that some positions only serve to provide laughter in your marriage. Not every position will work, and not every position is even possible outside of being a contortionist but if approached with the right attitude even position mishaps can increase intimacy through laughter.