This is part 4 in a series on how to incorporate the 5 senses into your quality time together.
Sound, is one of the senses that very likely gets overlooked during lovemaking. But what you hear during your time together may very well make or break the sexual experience. Here are a few things to consider in the area of sound:
1) Music: Some enjoy music during love making. Some absolutely do not. They would prefer to keep their mind focused on other senses and music is more distracting than anything else. Nevertheless, for those who do enjoy music, the style of music is key to the sexual experience. In fact, statistics indicate that those who listen to Jazz more frequently are inclined to be more sexually active. Some may enjoy Frank Sinatra while others prefer modern day pop music. The options are far and wide. And lets face it, if you have children in the house and you want to be “alone” for just a little bit, music may help to block out any unwanted distractions the little ones could throw your way.
2) Talking: Recently, we saw a television sitcom where the wife asked the husband to “speak dirty” to her in bed. It was a new experience for them both and he honestly didn’t know what to say. He sought help from a friend who ended up giving him some advice..some very bad advice. When the time came for them to connect that evening, she was so put off by what he said that it destroyed their time together.
I confess, we laughed through the entire episode. But it communicated a very good point. What do you say during love making? And can you say something that crosses the line?
As for the first question, this is something to best discuss with your spouse. Some may prefer no words and some may want some kind of “talk” to be going on. Respond to your spouse in the manner that best arouses them – not you. Keep your focus and energy on them first and then ask them to return the favor.
Regarding the second question, yes, there is definitely talk that may “cross the line”. We’ve been asked a few times what, exactly, crosses the line but this is a difficult question to answer. In the simplest words possible, if what’s being said makes either of you uncomfortable, it probably needs to stop.
In closing, next to touch, sound is the greatest sense that can make or break the sexual experience. You can be on the same page visually, and you may know exactly where and when to touch your spouse to get them to soar. But to know how to audibly get your spouse aroused before and during the sexual experience is something that will take a lot of practice…so go get practicing!
Have a favorite song or album that helps put you and your spouse in the mood? Let us know in the comments below.